Finally the Hollywood remake trend gets to the good stuff.

Today from the Los Angeles Times industry column Scriptland we get the GREAT news that forward-thinking Hollywood producers have developed a not-sequel, un-prequel, re-versioning, content-leveraging, character-revisiting, genre-regenerating, story-retrofitting look at the tour de force character study Bad Lieutenant, a 1992 film that flung the genitals of Harvey Keitel into our national consciousness.

And I say it’s about time. I’ll be the first to admit that we’ve all enjoyed – and flocked to the muliplexes – for remakes such as The Hitcher, The Wicker Man, Poseidon, Fun With Dick and Jane, Bad News Bears, Yours, Mine and Ours, The Longest Yard, The Stepford Wives, The In-Laws and who among us can’t wait for Halloween?

But a Bad Lieutenant remake? Quite simply this will take the relevance of King Kong and just slap around silly the ground-breaking masterpiece of Red Dragon.

Let’s take a look at how returning to Bad Lieutenant is not only important right now – but imperative:

• The remake will be scripted by William Finkelstein, who brings a hard-bitten and brittle sensibility honed by years of breathing life into legendarily ruthless TV characters such as Lennie Briscoe, Arnie Becker and Lt. Arthur Fancy.
• Why wouldn’t a movie from 1992 be ready for a remake? I’m a little amazed that no one’s remaking Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer yet, and that came out in June!
• The original Lieutenant, ground-breaking for its frank portrayal of violence, drug use and disturbing sexuality, will provide yet another movie studio with the opportunity to embrace the marketing-friendly NC-17 rating that was once so taboo and “hands-off” to filmmakers.
• Keitel’s performance as the corrupt junkie cop who, in one scene that remains so pivotal to film history, sexually relieves himself while holding a gun on some underage girls, is ripe for reimagining. One can only hope that the new movie will be fortunate enough to land a Cage, a Travolta, a Cruise or a Bacon or an Affleck or a LaBeouf to recreate this amazing piece of cinema – and, in the true spirit of movie remakes, that the scene will be “cranked up” to show the cop shooting the girls in their heads, incinerating their bodies, eating their ashes and stomping on the goldfish of their friends and families.
• The movie’s stirring, stupendous climax, in which the bad lieutenant experiences a euphoric transformation in which he literally finds Jesus – a moment that, when I saw the movie in ‘92, was met by some moron would-be critic in the audience who loudly exclaimed Oh, you have GOT to be kidding me! – is a scene begging for enhancement with CGI effects, lasers and a copious amount of gore!
• And to those “purists” who simply cannot fathom remaking a masterwork of this nature, Finkelstein has this to offer:

“These things have to stand on their own two feet. Listen, how many movies have been made about Jesse James and Eliot Ness? There are certain characters that are part of our literature and they will be revisited – that’s just the nature of it. There’s a difference between appreciating something and putting it in amber.”

To which I’d say, “Yes…yes, indeed. Wait, what?”

That’s it for me. Here endeth the Bizarro.