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The end is coming…and HELL’S COMING WITH IT. »

Apologies, readers and other friends of Burbanked. I haven’t been around these parts much lately. Let me explain why.

Several months ago, my boss and I had a discussion about the company, the economy, and the overall outlook for the future. The bottom line was that my position was going to be eliminated. I’ve been given the time to look for a new job, and I’ve been doing exactly that, every single night, ever since. In the meantime, Burbanked has been unhappily left behind to crumble down all around us.

2good + 2be = 4gottenBurbanked has always been my fun site. My movie-and-writing treat that I allowed myself at the end of the day. My interaction with you, the delightfully engaging, smart and oddball movie blogging audience, has always been what motivated me to write here, much more so than the traffic or the stats or any of that other silly stuff. I love to write; I love movies. Burbanked has been my dream marriage of those two worlds.

But I’ve been in crisis mode literally from the very day that I learned my job was going away. I’ve got four mouths to feed back at home; medical benefits to support; prescriptions to keep going and a roof to keep in place. When it becomes a question of risking any of that or allowing myself to have some fun writing a blog, it’s pretty obvious what the only choice is.

So I’ve been absent here, and I don’t think it’s going to let up soon. I will certainly find a new job and the end of the world will not come. Hell, Michael Bay’s movie is about to open and that will do a truckload more damage to our collective souls than my little career crisis could ever hope to do. But I’ve already moved far away from Burbanked in my mind; it’s been a necessary wound that I’ve had to mentally plug and get on with business so that I didn’t let it occur to me how damn much I missed writing here. And how much I miss reading and responding to your comments and visiting your blogs and all of that.

they don't make 'em like this anymoreI’m not certain that I’ll make it back here. That’s just the honest truth. I want to keep Burbanked going and I’ve been tempted to post on so very, very many topics over the last few months. But I’ve already started plans to revamp my other site alanlopuszynski.com to function as a more marketing- copywriting- SEO- social media-oriented blog, one which would more closely reflect my career capabilities and expertise.

So here’s what my plan is:

  • I’m going to finish work on relaunching alanlopuszynski.com. If you’re a marketing or online or social media or advertising person, I’d invite you to stop by there and see how it evolves.
  • I’m going to strip down Burbanked to its basics: stories and sidebar. That way I’ll still be able to post little bits and pieces when I can, some of them short and sweet and maybe some of them longer pieces, once my life settles down again.
  • My marketing blog will likely still have some crossovers into movie marketing stories. When that happens, I’ll post them here as well just for kicks.
  • If I’ve been a regular reader of your site, know that I’m still reading it. I might not comment as often and when I do you’ll probably start seeing more “Alan Lopuszynski” than “Burbanked” as my signature.

Thanks again for reading and engaging with me here; it’s been a fantastic, transformative experience for me, and a damn great education along the way.

Desperate to keep in touch with me as I travel this rocky, uneven road? By all means feel free to get a hold of me thusly:

Now go see more movies in the theater!

By the way: that picture at the top of this post is a fairly current image of my high school! I came across it online recently – absolutely, completely by random chance – and thought that it was a very nifty visual metaphor for how things were looking around Burbanked lately.



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Day One: The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken’s Eye Patch. »

when he gets back, he's going to kill Piper.It was an entire week ago – that’s just short of “forever” in blog-years – that my ever-lovin’ pal Piper at Lazy Eye Theatre meme’d me up but good with the following assignment:

  1. Explain to the world The Impossible Truth Behind Snake Plissken’s Eye-Patch. Could be a one word sentence or could be a seven page novella. Whatever you choose, but tell us all why Snake got the eye-patch.
  2. Tag five bloggers asking them to create their own stories about the eye-patch.
  3. Of course link back to Lazy Eye Theatre so that people know where this originated.

Awright, ya zany madcap kid. Here you go:

INT. MANAGER’S OFFICE – MORNING

A PENCIL scribbles across a piece of paper, quickly writing entries on bold thick lines. It looks like an exam of some sort. A hand grips the pencil tightly. In a hurry.

THE LEAD BREAKS, skittering off across the mahogany desktop.

WIDER – as the man holding the pencil lifts it up to inspect it. This is PLISSKEN. Early 20s, handsome and clean cut. The boy next door. He’s sitting at a large desk in a well-appointed high-rise office. He’s alone.

Plissken’s wearing an ill-fitted suit and drab tie. His eyes blaze briefly with annoyance at the pencil.

PLISSKEN

Ah, well.

He grabs another pencil from his suit pocket and finishes scribbling on the page. When he’s done, he gathers up the five pages he’s written on. Shuffles the papers together and looks around for something.

A STAPLER – heavy-duty, sitting near a large window. Plissken moves to it and attempts to staple his sheets together. The stapler jams. He tries it again, harder. No good. He’s getting irritated.

Plissken picks up the heavy thing, opens it up to peer inside and clear the jam. He pokes it and squeezes the handle a bit, jimmying and clutching and gripping it –

A STAPLE SHOOTS OUT – ZZZIIIP – and embeds itself IN PLISSKEN’S NECK, just below his jawline.

PLISSKEN

AAAAHH, SON OF A BI--

He pivots toward the window, draws his hand back, the stupid jammed stapler clutched in his angry hand. Starts to swing forward, furious destruction ahead –

And he stops himself in mid-throw. Breathing heavily. Calms himself down. Like a mantra:

PLISSKEN

Uno. Dos. Tres. Cuatro –

WOMAN (OS)

What in the hell is going on here?

He turns. A smallish WOMAN stands in the office doorway. 55, grey haired. She looks slight but she’s not. This is the MANAGER.

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Sam Mendes is trying to wear me down. »

Sam Mendes has all the makings of a director I should love – but somehow I just don’t. Road to Perdition is one of those movies that I always “mean” to watch, yet never quite get there. I truly couldn’t stand American Beauty and Revolutionary Road looked good, but then negative buzz about the movie kinda killed it for me.

So I feel conflicted by this Away We Go trailer, which really and truly looks like a movie I would enjoy and really maybe even love. But I’ve liked all of Mendes’ trailers and really none of his movies.

Do you have filmmakers like this? Ones that you sense are good, read they’re good, feel that they’re good – but somehow you just don’t enjoy their films? Here’s the trailer (via Hollywood Elsewhere):

You know what? I really need to start seeing more movies. As in weekly or something. I simply just don’t see enough.


This – once again – pretty much sums up my recent mood. »


The Public Enemies trailer is great enough to raise a dead blogger. »

I know I haven’t been ’round these parts too much lately – life, once again, has a way of making even my beloved blogging take a back seat in another car, speeding away on a rural road in the next county over – but Public Enemies is a Michael Mann film. With Depp and Bale. And tommy guns. And a whole lot of wow.


Live-Tweeting the Oscars. No, really. »

Here’s a wacky idea: after two weeks of complete non-bloggery, I’ll just what the heck go ahead and live-Tweet the Oscars. I’ve embedded my Twitter updates below, and you can follow me here. Refresh your browser if the newest updates doesn’t show up. Fans of Hollywood excesses! Enjoy!

UPDATED: different widget-embed here:
UPDATE, ONCE MORE: with the show over, here’s my Twitter archive instead of a live feed (the last stuff is at the top; then it gets earlier in the show as you move downward):

  • That’s an intriguing final montage of 09 films. Lots of great, unseen footage, mixed in with some truly awful crap. G’night all!
  • now THIS is a montage. terrific stuff.
  • whoooops. sorry Mickey Rourke. guess there’s no such thing as a true underdog.
  • Kingsley needs a WRESTLER-style second chance.
  • RICHARD JENKINS OWNS THE GOOGLES.
  • @rejects a hat-ish head covering of some sort. I’ll rule it a Yes.
  • Please welcome the star of THE LOVE GURU and BLOODRAYNE, Mr. Ben Kingsley, ladies and gentlemen!
  • @rejects I don’t know; didn’t you see Philip Seymour Hoffman?
  • did Kate Winslet just tell Meryl Streep to suck it?
  • way to talk about yourself, Halle Berry.
  • …and I was worried that I wouldn’t get to see weepy Halle Berry this year. yay.
  • And in related quality movie news, MADEA GOES TO JAIL made $41 million this weekend.
  • Tigger and Styx referenced in the same show. Find THAT elsewhere, Oscar haters!
  • oh Danny Boyle’s jumping up and down. Guess so.
  • hey, I was loading the dishwasher. did I miss anything important?

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Mildly amusing movie still juxtaposition #10. »

knowing is half the face offYeah, I know: I did one of these for Knowing last time.

But I just found something a bit strange and comical about these two stills, exclusively® released to /film today, one of which shows a worried-looking Nicolas Cage running, wearing a black t-shirt under a grey button-down and the other, which shows a worried-looking Nicolas Cage running, wearing a grey t-shirt under a black button-down. Yes: these are the kinds of things that amuse me.

Perhaps Knowing has something to say about duality, our inner struggle, our sense of chasing and being chased, and the binary nature of man’s inner conflict. Or maybe it’s just another crappy Cage non-thriller that will come and go quietly on March 20th.