Friday Meals on Reels: Special Ho-Ho-Ho Edition!

I suppose that the warmth and jolly feelings of the holiday season have melted my cold, cold heart just enough to bring back Friday Meals on Reels in which we celebrate the gastronomic delights of a movie’s first screengrab in which food is seen.

And naturally, it simply wouldn’t be a true Christmas season without my family’s annual viewing of Bob Clark’s 1983 classic A Christmas Story, a movie whose superlative reputation as a quotable and beloved holiday staple simple cannot be overstated.

We get our first foodgrab early on in ACS during breakfast time at the Parker household, at just around the 5:30 mark: Like a lot of family movies, food plays an extraordinarily prominent role in ACS because mealtime in the Parkers’ busy kitchen is where so much of the plot unfolds and the narrative conflicts deepen. Just think about how many of this movie’s most excellent quotables take place in and around food:

• “Flick says he saw some grizzly bears near Pulaski’s candy store!”
• “Daddy’s going to kill Ralphie!”
• “My little brother had not eaten voluntarily in over three years.”
• “Meatloaf, shmeatloaf, double-beatloaf. I hate meatloaf.”

And in fact, food is featured in ACS in what has to be not only my favorite film edit from this movie, but quite possibly from all movies, in the bit where Randy races into the bathroom, drops his drawers and lifts the seat just as Clark cuts to a simmering pot of red cabbage: What’s so extra-terrific about this not-at-all subtle bit is what a throwaway joke it is. Ralphie and his mom share some dialogue here about the red cabbage that has absolutely no function whatsoever to the scene or story; it only serves to explain why he lifted the lid to the pot at all.

I know you’re eager to head off to Higbees to visit Santa – the big man, the head honcho, the connection – but take a moment to check out what the insurmountably provocative and heart-squishingly winsome Mrs. Burbanked has cooking for you, after the jump.

Today’s Friday Meals on Reels: Indescribably Beautiful Meatloaf That Even Randy Won’t Play With

• 1 1/4 pounds ground beef
• 1/4 pound ground Italian sausage
• 1 egg
• 1 chopped onion
• splash of A1 or other steak sauce
• splash of ketchup
• 1/2 cup Italian seasoned breadcrumbs
• salt and pepper

Preheat oven to 400° F. In a blender, crack the egg and toss in the chopped onion, steak sauce and ketchup. Blend until the onion is too small to be recognized by picky children eaters. In a large bowl mix up your beef, sausage, egg-onion-sauce mixture, breadcrumbs, salt and pepper. Beat and manhandle that meat until it’s completely blended or until it cries like Scott Farkas, whichever comes first. Press the mixture into a pan and shape it into a heart or a zeppelin or a BB gun, then bake it for one hour, or until it’s cooked all the way through. Make sure to wash your hands with Lifebuoy soap before eating.