More X-Men to get younger, film fans to get dumber, Hollywood to rub its collective hands in greed and avarice.

In its never-ending effort to run its valuable properties not just right into the ground but also beat them and shred them and burn, stomp and otherwise destroy them beyond all possible recognition until suddenly they’re new and then begin the whole thing all over again, Hollywood seeks to further “leverage” its X-Men properties into yet another movie tangent. Variety reports that Gossip Girl and The O.C. youth-skewing creator Josh Schwartz will be tasked with emfreshening the X-Men by scribing X-Men: First Class, a tale that will ostensibly follow some youngster mutants in their formative years. This effort accompanies like-minded and similarly-coloned upcoming X-Men movies that will focus on origin stories for Wolverine and Magneto.

But of course you know that it won’t stop there, nor should it. I think the X-Men properties lend themselves to a whole marvelous legion of movie stories that can take place anywhere and everywhere along the series’ timeline. Just take a look at the possible movie ideas:

• X-Men: Muppet Baby Mutants
• X-Men: Toilet Training and Mutant Powers – A Deadly Mix
• X-Men: Charles Xavier: The Hair Years
• X-Men: Storm’s Parents Take Her to the Wal-Mart For a New Pair of Boots
• X-Men: Beast Vs. Acne
• X-Men: “Dad, Please Don’t Pull Up to the Curb. It’s Totally Embarrassing.”
• X-Men: Guidance Counselor Mystique
• X-Men: Cyclops Joins the Glee Club Even Though Jean Grey Still Won’t Pass Him a Note Back Or Tell Her Friends Whether Or Not She Likes Him-Likes Him
• X-Men: Wolverine’s Summer Vacation Job at Ichiban

The drama! The heartbreak! The zany and angst-filled antics of young mutants! I just love that Hollywood isn’t afraid to explore new stories, characters and merchandising opportunities. It’s exactly that kind of can-copy attitude that keeps me racing back to the multiplex each and every summer.