EXCLUSIVE: Boffo “Smart” Makes H’w'd Remake “Happy”

Hollywood has reacted quickly to the worldwide blockbuster weekend success of Get Smart with a huge announcement that Sony has secured the remake rights to classic TV skein Happy Days. John Davis of Davis Entertainment (Daddy Day Camp, Norbit, Garfield: A Tail of Two Kitties, Fat Albert) will produce for Sony who will distrib after the pic lenses in October.

Although he isn’t directly or even remotely involved with the new prod, Joel Silver of Warner Bros. and recent Speed Racer fame is looking forward to the new take on Days, which rather surprisingly takes the lives of the Fonz, Richie, Potsie, the Cunninghams and the rest - and transplants them all into the late 60s:

“We thought it’d be fantastic to take the Happy Days gang out of those ‘happy days’ if you will, and mix it all up a bit. See, now they’re in a totally different era - they’re the ultimate fish out of water - and they have to deal with things they’ve never known before. There’s so much potential there, it’s a rich and vibrant time for the gang we all know and love.

Although the screenplay is being kept under tight wraps, insiders have claimed that the action, comedy and family drama have all been “pumped up”, with a number of surprise twists and developments. “They explore that whole untapped Joanie-Fonzie chemistry,” an anonymous Sony exec sez, “And it’s pretty wrong but zowie it’s hot.” Additionally, widespread scuttlebutt on the script reveals that the episodic’s lovable doofus “Potsie” is seen in “wacky Viet Nam bootcamp hijinks” and “Mr. C” is permanently dispatched in a pre-cred sequence that involves a bowling alley mishap. This surprising beat, it’s speculated, results from the fact that Days actor Tom Bosley refused to sign over a tiny piece of the prop’s rights he still owns. The oversight appears to have occurred because the new flick’s producers “figured that guy was toes-up already.” As for the rest of the cast, Sony has let it slip that the characters of “Ralph Malph” and “Chachi” will be completely rendered through CGI.

Percenters all over town have jumped on the news to attach talent to the prod. Vince Vaughn has emerged as the frontrunner to play “Arthur Fonzarelli,” the role made famous by Henry Winkler. He’ll costar with Lindsay Lohan, who sources claim plans to heat up the screen in a big comeback role as “Joanie”. Owen Wilson and Matthew McConaughey are in heated talks over the role of “Richie Cunningham,” while Sharon Stone is rumored to be attached to the pic as well. Contacted for comment, Stone’s reps insist that she will NOT be playing “Mrs. C,” and industry buzz is that the 60-something thesp will instead cameo as the streetwise “Pinky Tuscadero”.

Representatives for the corpse of Pat Morita have released a statement that their client would very much like to be involved in the flick, and they’re just waiting to talk numbers. This might pose a problem for Mike Myers, who apparently has already prepared a wacky new inoffensive Japanese accent.

No helmers have been attached to the pic yet, although names being tossed about include Shawn Levy, Brett Ratner, Garry Marshall, Peter Segal, Joel Schumacher, M. Night Shyamalan, George Lucas, J.J. Abrams, Raja Gosnell, Ang Lee, Clint Eastwood, McG and one additional name the producers classify as their “dream choice”.

“Well of course they’d love to have little Ronnie Howard do it,” sez Joel Silver, who by court order must again clarify that he’s not actually involved in the production. “He might think he’s above that kind of thing, but in the end we all come back home again. And besides, the money will be pretty f***ing boffo.”