M. Night Shyamalan Once Again Revolutionizes the Movie Cameo!
By Burbanked on May 2, 2008 in Celebrities, Movies | 1,908 views |
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE: Hollywood, May 2, 2008
With the June 18 release date for his upcoming blockbuster geo-eco-thriller The Happening, writer-director-actor M. Night Shyamalan is preparing to engage film lovers all over the world in an entirely new, immersive moviegoing experience! Hollywood is abuzz with the introduction of:
The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh™!
Let’s hear the details straight from the man himself, M. Night Shyamalan:
Essentially, the MEoh delivers me, M. Night Shyamalan, directly to everyone who loves my films in a way unheard of before I thought of it. The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh allows moviegoers to hear from me and explore my opinions at every contact point that they have with my movie. I’m able to tell them what to think and feel when most of the time they’re simply not sure how to do all of that. It’s truly a precious, extraordinary gift.
As he does with all of his innovations, M. Night Shyamalan is keeping the details of M. Night Shyamalan’s MEoh very tightly under wraps - but today for the first time, the public is getting a glimpse at three of the available MEoh packages!
 The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh TicketBot
Why purchase a movie ticket from some minimum wage stooge when instead you can personally give your money to an automated version of M. Night Shyamalan himself? The MEoh TicketBot has the capability to book both current and future tickets for M. Night Shyamalan movies, and can be programmed to administer a movie quiz that determines if the ticket-buyer is even intelligent enough to see M. Night Shyamalan’s movie in the first place! |
 The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh Shyamal-O-Gram
Avoid confusion in the theater! The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh Shyamal-O-Gram is a revolutionary artificial intelligence interface that senses levels of comprehension in the theater’s occupants. At precise and random moments, a massive and omniscient hologram appears and explains exposition, character development and dramatic action as needed. |
 The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh Auteur Inflatable
Merchandise tie-ins are a critical part of your movie promotional budget - so you’ll want to ensure that this audience point-of-purchase is made complete with an appearance by your favorite auteur! This terrific and handsome inflatable can even be rigged so that it nods benevolently each time a customer leaves the restaurant with a The Happening Angry Apple Tree Happy Meal® - coming June 18th! |
So use your Sixth Sense and let your entire Village know: The M. Night Shyamalan MEoh has all the Signs of an Unbreakable success! Lady In the Water.
Reserve yours today!
Dedicated screenwriting 101 here: From an interview with Harrison Ford on the MTV Movies Blog in which the inevitability of another Indiana Jones movie is mentioned:
How do I get out of this? I love going to the movies with my boys, opening up their minds to the great pleasures of cinema and all that, but this is a hard one. Please help me: do I suck it up and just go, or can anyone out there provide me with a plausible, kind-hearted, permanent way out? (
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Ray | May 2, 2008 | Reply
Ugh, how I despise this man. I saw the new trailer for THE HAPPENING (great title!) at the screening for IRON MAN, and I cannot believe how pretentious and boring this film looks.
Burbanked | May 2, 2008 | Reply
Since you’ve seen IRON MAN, Ray, I’ve gots to know:
Does Shyamalan have a cameo in it?
Ray | May 3, 2008 | Reply
His cameo in the film came from the putrid, deflating air still lingering above our heads as the movie began.
By the way, my very favorite part of this thing - which is brilliant overall - is the final line: “Lady In The Water.” It’s the perfect reference to his obsessively self-referential state of mind.
Burbanked | May 3, 2008 | Reply
Well, it’s his own fault for not naming one of his movies in such a way that it can be easily worked - or make a cameo, if you will - into a sentence.
Norm S. | Oct 12, 2008 | Reply
Alan-
Hey I just found this — I love it! I have a little more appreciation for his films than most (I think Unbreakable is incredibly well structured), but this dude has fallen apart with his recent movies.
I just contributed Shyamalan’s sad onscreen history to a larger piece about directors who offer poor performances to their own movies. Feel free to check it out.