This will sound like I have something against Gwyneth Paltrow. And maybe I do, but that’s not my point.

I’m of conflicting opinions when I look at this nearly terrific Iron Man one-sheet. It truly is a great poster and all the bloggers who were on top of this last week (such as Screen Rant, where I grabbed this one) who pointed out that this has been designed as an old-school Star Wars-looking thing are right on the money. It does have an epic feel, a sense of destiny and heroism. Not bad qualities at all for a superhero movie poster to have, especially one without a built-in mass audience recognizability factor like this one.

But I can’t help questioning whether there’s simply one too many people on this sheet, and thinking that it would be a far nicer piece of movie art if Paltrow wasn’t on it.

Again, my point is not specifically about Paltrow, despite the fact that she adds little to the string of terrific trailers that this movie’s excellent marketers have created for it. And I’m being serious: the IM team can be justifiably proud, because they’ve taken a movie genre that feels like it’s overdue to hang up its superhero cape and breathed new life and energy into it. I’ve mentioned this before, but I was never a big Iron Man comics fan as a kid. The marketing for this movie has already sold me, way in advance, to go see it, even though I’m not that familiar with the property. That’s a big win because I’m a Cynical Movie Bastard® - a bitter, quibbling movie snarker who just dares filmmakers to surprise and thrill me - yet here I am, jumping up and down ready to see this movie yesterday.

My point is this: superhero movies really need to stop including the girlfriends.

There are several obvious reasons why this won’t happen, so allow me to list them for you:

• Giving the hero a love interest is standard fare in these movies; it provides him with greater conflict, higher stakes and more obstacles to overcome.
• A romance angle helps the movie appeal to a broader audience, drawing in the date crowd and preventing the film’s audience from being comprised of primarily lonely dorks and comic book shop proprietors.
• The source material historically features the girlfriend, and not including it in the movie would disappoint the fans.
• A female costarring role allows for a Hollywood actress to expand her fanbase, stretch her creative talents and purchase several more of the things she enjoys buying.

And you know what? Not a single one of those reasons has a ding-dong thing to do with the story the movie should be telling. It’s all Hollywood crap, mass audience moviemaking through and through. Just think back to how many times the plots of these movies are forced violently to a halt in order to serve the development of the hero’s romantic relationship. It’s become a tired and perfunctory convention that ultimately does little to create a fully-rounded and believable hero at the center of the film, as it’s meant to do.Because ultimately what happens to the girlfriend in these movies? Her character is often mishandled, introduced and then shoved to the side for most of the movie. Or the role is miserably cast and acted and it’s a chore for the filmmakers to keep her in the story. Or, she’s put into jeopardy by the villain, supposedly forcing the hero into a choice to serve the greater good or his own personal needs to secure her safety. Guess what: each time, without fail, he will find a way to do both.

And I understand the role of importance that the superhero girlfriend serves. She’s a legacy character with a rich history, but moviemakers don’t appear to know what to do with her anymore. The girlfriend roles have become pure marketing tools, boutique casting choices for either hot or fading actresses. What they tend not to be are tangible improvements to the movie stories they’re supposed to be servicing.

So with apologies to Ms. Paltrow and all of those rich and bored and often forgettably written actress roles in superhero films, I issue a challenge to all future comic book movie screenwriters: screw convention and history, and throw expectations out the window - go create something new and challenging and compelling and original. Give us a cinematic superhero who stands on his own.