Logline Freebies: Bringing back the Keanu.
By Burbanked on Jul 13, 2007 in Celebrities, Logline Freebies, Movies, Screenwriting | 808 views |
It’s been far too long since we’ve had an edition of Logline Freebies in which I fling reason and logic out the window and foolishly give away all intellectual property and merchandising rights to any of you screenwriters out there of questionable ethics and taste. I welcome your plagiarism; I embrace your thievery; I admire the blackness of your soul.
And when you steal one of my ideas and ride it all the way to a six-picture first-look deal at Dreamworks where Michael Bay begs you for scripts each day? You’ll know the truth and will most likely sleep just fine at night. Good for you.
Today’s loglines are inspired by this photograph of Keanu Reeves, courtesy of the lovably cantankerous blog whose celebrity bile surpasses even my own, Crabbie’s Hollywood. Crabbie suggests that Reeves is preparing for a role in something called The Night Watchman, but couldn’t he just as easily be starring in something like…
Hijinks ensue when a down-on-his-luck male stripper is mistaken for an actual cop and is called upon to break up a murderous plot by a rogue gang of Middle Eastern druglords.
If you’re in the market for the romantic comedy or blockbuster action versions, join me after the jump.
Struggling to write the next huge romantic comedy?
A heartless, career-driven PhD gets a lesson in life when he learns that all of his advanced degrees will be nullified unless he returns to elementary school to fulfill a crossing guard requirement that he neglected long ago. Costarring Megan Fox as the brash but kind-hearted third-grade teacher who warms his heart.
Or maybe you’re interested in kick-starting an old franchise:
Speed 3: The Beginning - Jack Traven may be just a rookie cop ridiculed and mocked by the entire LA police force - but he’s also the only man who can take down a ruthless teenage hoodlum bent on ripping off all of the city’s parking meters. Alternate title, Speed 3: Slow Is the New Fast.
Served up on a silver platter, amoral screenwriters. Have at it!
Dedicated screenwriting 101 here: From an interview with Harrison Ford on the MTV Movies Blog in which the inevitability of another Indiana Jones movie is mentioned:
How do I get out of this? I love going to the movies with my boys, opening up their minds to the great pleasures of cinema and all that, but this is a hard one. Please help me: do I suck it up and just go, or can anyone out there provide me with a plausible, kind-hearted, permanent way out? (
© Copyright
RC of strangeculture | Jul 14, 2007 | Reply
Those are hillarious!! I like the plot idea that Reeves is mistaken for a cop.
I could see his “doh!” expression he’s so good at really working well for a film like that.
matt | Jul 14, 2007 | Reply
Entertaining stuff. I’d watch at least fifteen minutes of these movies although I think I already saw a dumber version of the second one when it was called, “Billy Madison.”