Jon Heder should be glad he’s wearing a wig again in Blades of Glory.

Actor Jon Heder broke into the mainstream big time in 2004’s Napoleon Dynamite, and the movie crowds had barely shaken the popcorn from their clothes when Hollywood was already wondering what Heder would do next – and indeed if cinematic lightning would strike again.

Well, it hasn’t. Heder has appeared in about four major releases since Dynamite, all of which have been disappointments at the box office. What no one in Hollywood understands, however, is that Heder’s post-ND movies have underperformed because of his hair.

Yes, his hair. Allow me to illustrate this as succinctly as possible:
Of course we already know how funny the hair was in Napoleon Dynamite, and we know how very unfunny The Heder Hair was in School for Scoundrels last year.

And now here comes Heder again, back in his be-wigged comfort zone, in the new trailer for Blades of Glory.

Will it be funny? A success? Perhaps – but if I were Jon Heder’s agent, I wouldn’t be racing off to buy myself a new Escalade just yet. There are too many variables when it comes to The Heder Hair and before you know it the actor is likely to get all “I just want to be myself” and “Oh, I simply abhor those wacky wigs” and “Why can’t I be taken seriously” and all that other crap that actors are so fond of saying.

So, as a service to Heder and those who are charged with benefiting from his success, I’d like to suggest another simple illustration of how Heder – and his hair – can stay on the Hollywood gravy train if he simply emulates some of these classically coiffed culture icons:

No need to thank me. I do this because I care.