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Logline Freebies: three stories about great, great men.

By Burbanked on Nov 22, 2006 in Logline Freebies, Screenwriting | 2,832 views |

logline freebies You know what’s just incredibly lacking in cinema today? Stories about men. Sure, you can whine and complain about “great roles for women” and you can ring that old bell about “independent movies” and “foreign films” and similar tripe - but really what we should demand from the studios is a much more prodigious output of movies profiling compelling white men and the great deeds that they do to make the world a better place.

And listen, if that golden nugget of an idea isn’t enough to inspire the more plagiaristically-minded among you, then allow me to further kick-start your motivation: I’ve got not one, not two, but THREE stories of great, great men for you to steal:

First, the Angry Main Character Who Learns To Love:

A bitter commitment-phobe has made a name for himself as a self-styled relationship-terminator-for-hire - but this lonely and misunderstood misanthrope gets more than he bargained for when his most recent client turns the tables and falls in love with him!

Too clichéd? I’ve got another pair of pitches after the jump.

How about the Mysterious Do-Gooder Who Teaches Us What’s Important In Life (found once again via the great YBNBY):

As a big city police chief, he’s seen it all, and decades of putting the world’s scum behind bars has taken its toll in his divorce, alcoholism and burnout. But what happens when a quirky stranger starts committing random acts of generosity and kindness - will it be enough to melt the chief’s cold, cynical heart?

Doesn’t play in the flyover states? How about the Wacky Small-Town Mayor Who Brings a Dying Town To Its Feet:

The people of Downers Falls, Vermont, have fallen on hard times - and none more so than the disgraced mayoral candidate who was once the locals’ favorite son. In a desperate bid to win reelection, he devises a plan to “perk up” the town’s elderly male population - but he gets more than he bargained for when his crazy plan…is just crazy enough to work!

Today’s pitchable plots should be considered my own little tribute to those great opening scenes of The Player, the only Robert Altman movie that I can honestly say I love. Here’s hoping the man has found peace in that great, rambling, overlapping dialogue scene in the sky.

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A long time ago...

Hey that ain't right.

Will Hunting: Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll take a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. Maybe I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never met, never had no problem with, get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Oh, send in the Marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number got called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some kid from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes back to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile, he realizes the only reason he was over there in the first place was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And, of course, the oil companies used the skirmish over there to scare up domestic oil prices. A cute little ancillary benefit for them, but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, of course, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and fuckin' play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So now my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the fuckin' job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin', 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat, the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what did I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. I figure fuck it, while I'm at it why not just shoot my buddy, take his job, give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.
Good Will Hunting (1997)
The newest and snarkiest

11.20.2008Dedicated screenwriting 101 here: From an interview with Harrison Ford on the MTV Movies Blog in which the inevitability of another Indiana Jones movie is mentioned:
MTV: Is the ball in George’s court at this point? Ford: It is. That’s the process. With some general input he goes off and searches for the MacGuffin and then stumbles into a story. And at some point we have a chance to take a look at and give some input.
Now granted this is Ford’s opinion of Lucas’ “creative process”, yet still: when one of the three principals of the Indiana Jones legacy classifies the story creation process as a haphazard, one-man effort that only superficially seeks outside input, it’s hard not to feel frustrated. Not surprised, just frustrated. Dear Mr. Spielberg: please put your foot down and either demand a coherent story or walk away. Just do us all a favor, could you? Maybe? (found via FilmDrunk)
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