Celebrity Stupid – because this is what passes for admiration in Hollywood.

A quick lesson for all of you Hollywood star wannabes: at your earliest possible opportunity, distinguish yourself from the pack of stunning, muscled, beautiful, chiseled, blown-dry, fake-tanned starlet-clones from which you seek your deserved distinction by providing the media with an outrageously idiotic quote. It doesn’t matter if the quote is humorous, factual, eloquent or even makes sense. All that matters is that you said it, and therefore people will think that you are interesting.

How do we know this? Because today’s Celebrity Stupid gave us a textbook example, six years ago in the blossoming days of its career:

“[Celebrity]: I really enjoyed Gladiator. Russell Crowe could get up, pull his pants down, and [make a number two], and you’d be completely blown away.”

Now isn’t that just a delight? Find out which budding star had nothing but gushy praise for Russell Crowe’s admirable bathroom skills, after the jump.

Colin Farrell is today’s Celebrity Stupid!

Clearly hurting for fresh celebrity news, Vanity Fair is taking a look back at the past 15 years of their appropriately-named “Vanities Discoveries” in which they encourage up and coming Hollywood stars and starlets to hold forth on just what exactly makes their craft so meaningful. Fortunately, Colin Farrell decided to bear down and squeeze out this profundity:

“Colin Farrell: I really enjoyed Gladiator. Russell Crowe could get up, pull his pants down, and [make a number two], and you’d be completely blown away.”

Yes, blown away indeed, Colin.

And we feel equally certain that, in the intervening years since you articulated this disturbing little piece of cinematic fantasy, you’ve patterned your own inestimable acting skills toward this lofty goal. As we facilitate your continuing admiration of Crowe’s devil-may-care career trajectory, allow us to further suggest that you go ahead and publicly abuse some toady in the service industry, and then proceed right along to your inevitable feel-good, comeback romance movie that no one will take seriously.

UPDATED! Junkiness also runs Farrell’s quote today, with a helpful suggestion!