Exciting! Rush Hour 3 on track to become Most Annoying Movie of all time!

Coming hot off the heels of the wildly average critical response to X-Men: The Last Stand, Hollywood action setpiece director Brett Ratner is gearing up for what will no doubt be his crowning achievement and lasting legacy to cinematic history: taking his mildly annoying Rush Hour franchise and cranking it to previously unimagined levels of irritation.

Speaking to USA Today (by way of IGN), Ratner explains the complex development process behind RH3 and how he plans to take the action-buddy-cops-from-different-worlds genre and obliterate everything that we thought we knew about filmmaking:

“Jackie was a fish out of water (in L.A), then Chris was one in the second movie (in Hong Kong). Now they are both fish out of water.”

We wonder if you’re as furious as we are right now. Across this country, parents are sending their kids to expensive film schools – yet all anyone would need to do is attend one story development meeting with Brett Ratner to learn everything that’s important to know about Hollywood movie-making.

How long will this go on before someone does something about it?

In the meantime, consider some of these additional comments from those involved in the creation ofRush Hour 3, and keep in mind that these are real quotations that are completely not made up by this Web site and are absolutely not at all figments of my someone’s imagination:

From actor Max Von Sydow, who is rumored to be attached to the project:

“Yes, Rush Hour 3 will be a blast, ha-ha. When I realized that I had not completely destroyed five decades of respectable acting work with Judge Dredd, I immediately started searching for a film project where I would come off looking like more of a jackass. I hope there is a scene where that Chris Tucker insults me for being old and white and where Jackie Chan kicks me between the legs.”

From director Michael Bay:

“I like to think of Brett Ratner as being the son that I’ll never have the depth or selflessness to get around to having.”

And from Jean Claude Van Damme, who also might (*fingers crossed*) appear in Rush Hour 3:

“I AM IN ANOTHER MOVIE! YES! EAT IT, DOLPH LUNDGREN.”

Rush Hour 3 is scheduled for release in August of 2007. It’s being written by the guy who wrote Speed 2: Cruise Control.