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Check out the NEW SUPER Crime Fighting Tool - Sonny Crockett Vision®

By Burbanked on May 12, 2006 in Celebrities, Movies | 740 views |

CAPTURE drug lords! BRING DOWN international crime cartels! WEAR super bitchin clothes!

You can have it all - when you use the NEW SUPER Crime Fighting Tool:

Sonny Crockett Vision®

Here’s how it works:

Through classroom instruction and violent, torture-like physical training, we actually FORCE you to never look at anything straight-on!
You’ll master the Sideways Glance®, the Tilt-Down Glare®, the Angry Eagle® and of course the Windblown Fury®!
And here’s the BEST PART - criminals never know where you’re looking! Lulled into a sense of false security, they’ll commit major international felonies right before your eyes!
It’s a fact: studies show that more criminals are caught when they firmly believe that undercover cops are looking the other way.

Sonny Crockett Vision® was once only available to overly pretentious Hollywood actors and really seriously overly pretentious Hollywood actors - but now you can take advantage of this groundbreaking crime-smashing subterfuge.

But don’t take our word for it! See how Sonny Crockett Vision® has saved the career - and the life - of another of our brave detectives who put their lives on the line every day:

ORDER TODAY!

“Before I tried Sonny Crockett Vision®, criminals never took me seriously! They’d be all ‘Why are you tilting your head that way’ and ‘Hey, look me in the eye, ***hole’ - but now I command fear and respect. Thanks, Sonny Crockett Vision®!”

It’s absolutely, 100% guaranteed. Your money back if you’re knifed, shot, speargunned, blown up in a speedboat, forced to snort tainted cocaine while undercover, burned alive or if a Colombian crime figure murders your entire family and friends.

You can’t go wrong with Sonny Crockett Vision®! Try it TODAY!

(Miami Vice images found via Movie Marketing Madness)

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2 Comments so far

Mack Collier | May 22, 2006 | Reply

LMAO! Hilarious!
Liz | Dec 30, 2007 | Reply

Ha!

Major International Felonies would be a great name for a rock band, assuming it isn’t already.

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