Mission: Hollywood - you can relax because you’re not Tom Cruise.

In this Special Edition of Mission: Hollywood, Burbanked would like to offer you, valued pop culture consumer, a bit of counterprogramming laziness to fight the smothering, hypetastic efforts of the M:I:3 publicity monster. So put your feet up, don’t even think about doing your own stunts, and enjoy today’s random, pointless, Web-potato version of Mission: Hollywood - The Mission-less Mission:

Too much caffeine coursing through your bloodstream making it difficult to fit in that mid-afternoon nap at your desk? Just take a look at this recent video post on YouTube featuring a pre-Thornton, post-puffy-lipped, Oscar! Winning! Actress! Angelina Jolie maximizing her dramatic instrument by looking bored, petulant and smoking a cigarette. And if you’re seriously jonesing for tedium, listen to the audio on the clip at the same time. Mmmm…pretentious avant-garde filmmaking…

Jack Black has built a career around the portrayal of lazy, ambition-challenged characters - and really, that’s us trying to be complimentary. The Hollywood Reporter details his next role as that of “…a junkyard worker whose brain is magnetized, destroying every tape in his friend’s video store and forcing the pair to remake the lost films…”, which is a plot description that causes big question marks to appear in the air above our head. Still, the director on the project is The Eternal Sunshine’s Michael Gondry, which makes us think that the pointlessness may have a point floating around in there.

Star Magazine is reporting that American Idol underdog Taylor Hicks once spent some time in an Alabama jail after cops found marijuana, pipes and other paraphernalia in his car during a traffic stop. And in a completely unrelated bit of news, Paula Abdul recently started dating Taylor Hicks.

Have we run out of relevant superheroes yet? Actor-Director-Swinger Jon Favreau doesn’t think so, because Zap2it tells us that he’ll be directing a feature based on the Marvel Comics character Iron Man. Now is that the guy whose battlesuit’s primary power source was a cold-fusion thermoelectric generator, or is it the guy with the really big hat?

And here’s one for the retro-slackers out there: the scar stuff blog has made mp3s available of all eight different endings of the 1979 MAD Magazine flexi-disk song “It’s a Super-Spectacular Day” (found, unsurprisingly, via Boing Boing). No real punchline or movie connection there, and to add comment would be to severely undermine today’s theme of laid-backiness.

(Ed. - pretty sure we just did exactly that, idiot.)