Whatever David Copperfield’s paying his publicist, it’s not enough.
By Burbanked on Apr 27, 2006 in Celebrities, Gossip, Off the Rails | 911 views |
ring-ring. ring-ring.
“Yeah, Warren? Hey, this is David.” pause.
“It’s David Copperfield.”
“The magician David Copperfield. Listen, I’m in Florida and you won’t believe what just happened. I got robbed at gunpoint with my two assistants and listen to what I did - I FAKED OUT THE BURGLARS by pretending that my pockets were empty! Yeah! It was totally cool. They didn’t get my money or my cellphone. I figured you’d want to get this into the local papers as soon as possible - ”
“What? Yeah, Cathy and Mia lost everything. Money, tickets, keys, everything.”
“Yeah, they had guns! Six inches from my - ”
“Well, I’m not sure how my magic could have ‘protected the women’ exactly…”
And things get uglier after the jump.
No, I couldn’t just make them disappear. What do you think, I walk around with huge mirrors in my pockets? What the hell is the matter with you?”
“I prevented a robbery. Prevented. A. Robbery. And I need you to get out of your bed and draft me a press release - ”
“WHAT’S THE ANGLE? I’m a MAGICIAN, you idiot. I used sleight-of-hand to diffuse a dangerous situation. That’s rocking it old-school, my friend.”
“Yes it is too rocking it.”
“Okay, you mention Blaine to me one more time and I will personally chop your head off and pull a ****ing rabbit out of it. Just put in there that I said something nice about the local police. And mention my shows. And probably the Statue of Liberty thing.”
pause.
“Yeah, great. Go ‘work your magic’ on it. Yeah, that was funny every time for the past three years when you’ve said it, thanks.”
click.
Dedicated screenwriting 101 here: From an interview with Harrison Ford on the MTV Movies Blog in which the inevitability of another Indiana Jones movie is mentioned:
How do I get out of this? I love going to the movies with my boys, opening up their minds to the great pleasures of cinema and all that, but this is a hard one. Please help me: do I suck it up and just go, or can anyone out there provide me with a plausible, kind-hearted, permanent way out? (
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dougie p | Apr 27, 2006 | Reply
Man you have the whole thing wrapped around your finger.