Gwyneth Paltrow is much deeper than you think.
By Burbanked on Apr 10, 2006 in Celebrities, Gossip | 876 views |
America’s Celebrity Womb Watch had a great day Monday when the first C-section to cross the finish line was Oscar winning “actress” Gwyneth Paltrow. She and her husband Chris Martin of the “band” Coldplay announced the birth of their son Moses Martin, according to People.com.
Of course, there was speculation lately - hey, even in these very pages! - that Paltrow was planning to follow up her (some would say) oddly-named daughter Apple by naming their son-to-be “Mortimer”, but instead the couple went with the much-more-accepted-in-America’s-junior-high-schools-choice Moses.
Are we to believe that the couple - in response to the tiresome antics of the media, the paparazzi and their hordes of faithful fans - landed on the name Moses in order to symbolize their fervent desire to keep their son’s birth a secret for three months, at which point they would set him adrift - in some metaphorically Hollywood way, of course - on a river in a small craft of bulrushes coated in pitch, as did the mother of their son’s Biblical namesake?
Eh, no, probably not. In fact, Martin’s band Coldplay has a song called “Moses”, and the couple no doubt sent the bucket of creative thought deep into the well of the song’s lyrics to divine inspiration for naming their new bundle of joy:
“come on now, don’t you want to see / this thing that’s happening to me / like moses has power over sea / so you’ve got power over me”
Now, we don’t like to get terribly personal here at Burbanked, but this certainly seems like the right time to share with our readership the fact that we are not so different than Ms. Paltrow and Mr. Martin. We also sought inspiration for the name of our beloved offspring, and found it in one of the rock anthems of our generation:
“I see your lips and I wonder who’s been kissin’ them / I never knew how badly I was missin’ them / We both know we’re never going to make it / but when we touch, we never have to fake it, Leah!”
And it might have worked out a little better if we’d just found out first that we were having a boy.
My blog-love affair with cartoonist Doug Savage’s terrific daily Savage Chickens (
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because clearly Cage has decided to become action/thriller cinema’s first Polish great-grandma. (
Well, that’s too bad. Back a year or so ago when I heard that they’d be making a movie out of Judi and Ron Barrett’s terrific kids’ book Cloudy with a Chance of Meatballs, I hoped maybe it’d be made live-action. Handled well, the idea of seeing an actual town where it rained hotdogs and baked beans in an open-roof restaurant, as well as the bit where sanitation trucks clean up all the leftover rain/snow/food and feed it to the pets would be, I thought, a bundle of CG-imbued cinema fun. 
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