Mission: Hollywood – put that OscarChoiceGlobe down and get to work!

Sure, it may be awards season and all, but don’t think that the bestowing of a few golden trinkets means that we can sit back and merely wait for those new showbiz opportunities to come rolling in on their own. It’s time for another mettle-testing Mission: Hollywood assignment:

1. Finally: evidence to support the popularity of video games. Now get Uwe Boll on the phone and make sure you book him through 2012.
2. Attention all PR professionals and paparazzi bloodsuckers, we have just one thing to say: Ms. Aniston, Mr. Hasselhoff. Mr. Hasselhoff, Ms. Aniston.
3. They’re sticking their espresso-stained fingers into your moviemaking, Hollywood. Better get that Brokeback Mountain Smooth Blend into supermarkets by Oscar time.
4. That’s right. She’s our only hope. Let’s at least die with a little dignity.
5. Hello, Dead Franchise Just Waiting for a Remake. Mannequin 3 isn’t just going to write itself now, is it?
6. That’ll do, rumor mill. That’ll do. Now get back to your regular, harmless, celebrity womb-watching before someone gets hurt.